In "silent" meditation, a vivid image keeps consuming my vision: free of garments, in a space in darkness, and belonging and holding on to absolutely nothing. The feeling of bliss exists somewhere but even that can't be held on to.
In reality, the "energy" for me, also known as the guide within, or Kundalini Shakti, is loud, booming, piercing and fiery, manifesting as a painful searing pain in my heart and lower back. She is asking me in my inner space to "let go." It is echoed in every inhalation and exhalation.
I'm sharing my journey into transformation which seems to be inviting me into a lifetime shift and cannot be ignored.
Courtesy of Pixabay, chosen to represent both sides of transformation, co-existing.
Swami Muktananda often spoke of Saint and Siddha Zipruanna, who sat without garments on a pile of garbage, yet always exuded a sweet smell. In my present reality, my "pile" feels to be all of my thoughts, ideas, attachments, lingering and subtle attachments to identities, objects, people, places, memories, modes of being or acting and literally anything and everything that had any association or attachment for the ego.
To be able to sit on top of this pile without belonging to it feels like the shift that is in the making.
My teacher Guruji Sri Vasudeva often speaks of "Jivanmukta", being "free" whilst in a physical form. After hearing this term for some years, it is starting to really be understood. Once one is free and acting from that place of "nothingness" or "pure being" or "complete non-attachment", then they can willfully choose to be or act in any way in the human experience but with total freedom in the inner space.
It was with a feeling that I couldn't get out of my field, that showed me that maybe something karmic is unfolding: uneasiness and discomfort, lodged deep within my chest. No matter how I tried to move or shift or even breathe, the pain was constant and alongside every thought or feeling. It is equally as painful in my lower back. I can imagine that this is happening to challenge every "idea" or "belief" I have ever held within myself. Opening the door for the real "oneness", a fluid and transcendental existence.
Although this is not an unfamiliar pain; it has showed itself many times along my path; but acting in ignorance is often easier for some of us, than facing the pain and listening to the prompts to go deeper within.
It can also be that we can sometimes be afraid to venture into where the energy is trying to clean us up, but through a guide on the journey like Guruji Sri Vasudeva my teacher, and other Divine support, the fear starts to melt away.
I can feel a fearlessness emerging in the process, as the shedding is bringing an ease right along with it, but this is still fleeting as the fire of transformation is ablaze.
There is an "aloneness" without being alone that is positioning itself in my being; a feeling that I never felt in my heart space before; almost like a reclusion but without casting everything aside, physically.
In the Mahayoga Teacher Training guided by Sri Vasudeva and through Blue Star, which is soon approaching, we will be asked to look at where the energy is within our own selves and be guided to understand the experiences she is showing up within us; to be cleaned, cleansed, cleared, and transcended.
I look forward to venturing deeper with you.
Share more soon as the unfolding continues.
With love,
Sridevi
Add comment
Comments
Namaskar Sridevi🙏
Thanks for sharing so personally. I can relate with this uncontrollable and ever transformative Energy which takes a hold of us and does what is necessary to bring us to “A New Way of Being”.
I’ve learned along the way that it is necessary to surrender to “That” and accept and allow the “Process”…which has brought me to a different view of my world each time, to a different way of Being and to a deeper state of Freedom within myself.
Enjoying this Journey is very important no matter what comes because it’s most important for our own constant evolution and realizing that there is no Destination.
I pray that we all continue to be worthy of our Divine Teacher, Coach & Guide, Guruji, Sri Vasudeva…without whom we would live in ignorance.🙏🌟💜